I am pretty sure that what I believe is still in the making. I am young and have loads of things to learn, but as for right now my most affirmed belief plays out kind of like this...

I believe that experience is the most powerful and honest source of knowledge. Doing things is always better than, listening to them, or watching them, or reading about them. Yes, in some cases waking up hungover seems worse than just listening to your parents advice not to drink, but then there is always that what if, that lingering question in the back of your mind. I believe that without personal experience than nothing is fact or truth or even real. When someone is there, all wrapped up in whatever it is, there is no out and no excuses, no room for judgment or persecution, the situation is what it is and that is all. Whether I am talking about prejudices, breaking the law, religious dedication, sexual orientation or simply an everyday lifestyle I believe that no outsider should be entitled to make any judgments on that person or their choices. I believe that differences are what make the world keep spinning and without a firsthand account of a situation or person then there is no need, or room, for disapproving judgments.

I guess I will write about diversity day whoops i mean community day...

I will have to admit I was more impressed today than I was with previous diversity days. I am going to refer to it as diversity day from now on because I kinda feel like community day is a just a cop out for whatever really is going on. I enjoyed the rubber ducky small group activity, i definitely didn't want to share mine with my group or the entire school but it was interesting where people actually went with there poems. In my group some kids actually got really deep and stayed "real" as Dooley referred to it and others basically blew it off. We also had a really meaningful and intelligent discussion regarding the two pieces about the Holocaust. I don't really think that our discussion was exactly relevant to the general theme of the day but it was really interesting and introspective. The speaker was alright I guess just very redundant and I don't see why we needed to listen to the same guy talk about the same things twice, but that is just me I guess he was entertaining and somewhat woke the crowd up. I like the idea of having these days but I still don't feel like the execution is all there yet. The movie the juniors watched was kind of out there and to be honest the activity we did after it was unproductive. I am also not sure whether the last 3 weeks of school is the appropriate time to spend a day not in class. Finals are approaching, projects deadlines are coming up, and I know personally I would rather be doing productive things in class. I feel like the attitude of the diversity day needs to change, because so many kids mock and ignore what is trying to be accomplished a lot of the day goes wasted. I am not really sure what changes need to be made but this years is better than last so I guess we are getting there.

So I am getting really excited for summer! My sister came home last week from IU and I am way jealous every morning when I walk past her room and she is snoozing away. I feel like we are in school a lot longer than most other kids this year and we started earlier so I am not really sure how all that worked out hopefully we get out early next year. My summer is going to be pretty busy, I am working my first legitimate job, going to France, running a day camp for 3 weeks, and also playing a ton of soccer, so I will be busy, but to be honest summer gets boring when you sit at home all day everyday. This probably will make it go by really fast which sucks but I am getting to do a bunch of really cool and new things so whatever. It is kind of weird to think I only have one year left of high school I am really excited for college but one year seems like nothing! But in order for me to get into college I need to pay attention to Dr. Vesper's lecture in pre cal right now so that is all I guess. Yes, this blog was lame.

Another random blog… I am kinda running thin on the random blog ideas and I would complain about still even having to blog, but I desperately need other people to blog so that I can get my 15 extra credit comments done so I guess I will do my part too...

I had to babysit my obnoxious foul-mouthed adorable 3-year-old little brother last night and he never fails to entertain me! We were jumping on the trampoline in the backyard when my dog barreled through the fence and ran away, his stupid invisible fence collar battery had died so there I was, Crew, on my back in his Hulk Smash underwear running down the neighborhood street yelling for that little Fucker I mean Tucker. We finally caught him 3 blocks away; his previously white body was now brown, covered in leaves and sticks. My neighbor who happens to already hate us was sitting outside with her perfectly matching daughter and son, drinking lemonade on there front steps, drawing with chalk as their groomed dog lie next to them sleeping, how freaking wonderful, when Crew jumped off my back pulled down his underwear and started peeing in my front yard announcing that he could make a circle and right his initials! Cute, hilarious, typical? Yes, but the scorn from Mrs. Perfect implied I go inside and stop “corrupting” her innocent children. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to just tell her off, but my mom would probably be furious considering they take the same tennis class two days a week, ha. The 30 bucks my mom slips my way after babysitting is nice, but sometimes I think Crew entertains me more than 30$ ever will!

Now that Joe has discovered a way to communicate, his isolated, trapped, and unconnected feelings are slowly diminishing, but he must make a decision on how he is going to live this new life that was forced upon him through his service to the country. Joe could move on, look for his friends and family and attempt to put his life back together as much as possible. Yes, this would evolve into something much different than how he interacted with them previously, but at least he would have the opportunity to rekindle those connections. Instead Joe chooses to use his story and physical body as an example of failed war choices, he wants to get out and prove his points regarding combat and service. I kind of feel like this life path would benefit neither the recipients of his story or himself. Why would he want to continue to relive those treacherous and damaging years of his life? I also think that people would continue to volunteer for war even after listening to his story, most servicemen are aware of the risks before hand and that is part of the honorable job as a participant in the army. I don't agree with Joe's desires after living in the hospital for 6 years. I would want to put back the pieces as best as I could and try to relive those last 6 years if I hadn't gotten hurt. I know it is unfair for me to pass judgement but I can't see myself leaving behind everything I had ever developed to try to expose the flaws of war.

In Psychology Kenzie and I are partners for our final, which is a social psyche project. There are not many requirements, and the topic is completely optional to us. We discussed dancing obnoxiously in the middle of the mall to see strangers reactions, we thought about freezing in the middle of a busy area, and finally we came up with a slight less embarrassing idea. We are making a test that surveys levels/ideals of prejudice among high schools across Indianapolis. We are going to create 5 different characters and list 7 characteristics of each but not give their race, sexuality, gender, occupation, hometown, or education level. Then the test taker will have to guess each one of the 6 qualities we didn't give. We want to find out what exactly are "give away" qualities and also if different schools extend different results or if midwestern Indiana teenagers are roughly the same when it comes to stereotyping. I am not 100% sure that this will accurately work, simply because knowing that you are taking a test, and it will probably be obvious that it is for a psychology class, students are going to be less likely to be honest and open about their prejudices. Hopefully, we are able to misrepresent it as a test that isn't testing exactly stereotyping, but we haven't really come up with any successful ideas yet.

Beveridge believes that America is the ultimate example of a successful government and he thinks that because we are so successful that we should try and govern all other nations outside of America. He begins he essay talking about how "God" has given us this flawless gift and that we should want to share it whether the recipient wants it or not, he talks about how antagonists against his belief are relying on trivial reasons such as, distance, he refutes this by listing multiple other nations who currently govern other bodies of people from far away. Beveridge sees the American representative democracy as the best system of control and he doesn't understand why some people want to limit our capabilities only to America. This is relatable to Johnny Got His Gun in the sense that Joe disagrees with it. He has gone to war but never really understood or supported the reasons for fighting. Like I talked about in my previous blog, soldiers are asked to risk their own life for the objectives of their nation, and if they do not agree with or even comprehend why they are there the success of the army will decrease. Beveridge is close minded in the fact that he fails to consider other systems of government and he doesn't seem to understand that not all people will or do agree with American customs and government methods. Joe is an example of someone who has gone to fight for his country trying spread America's form of a democracy, but he still doesn't necessarily whole-heartedly want to do it or believe it is right.

D'Souza believes that America has been successful in the past directly because of the confidence and pride that the people have toward their nation. He is very patriotic and believes that this quality results in victory in war. Without knowledge of what you are fighting for, a person is unable to fully commit themselves to the national goal therefore failing in combat. This is similar to Joe's feelings in Johnny Got His Gun because Joe has been injured from war severely, and now laying in bed paralyzed and distraught he is questioning why he went to war himself. He shows some qualities of nationalism when he talks about longing for his home and comfortable environments and being taken care of by people whom is familiar with, but he also is confused and to some extent angry because he never had a physical reason for going to war. Joe says he wasn't exactly against the war from the start but even once he left for service he didn't know why he was there or if he believed in why the nation was there.

I guess I will talk about what I am going to do this summer. I am kind of stressing out about it, actually. My sister came to me March and asked if I wanted to run and set up a horse summer day camp with her. She is in college majoring in business and it is semi part of her class semi a method of cash for this summer. We both got really excited, but that was way before we actually started planning advertising, writing up release forms, and everything else that is consuming my life right now. Audrie is taking care of the horse part, considering she has been teaching since she was 15 and has ridden since she was 5, but I basically have to do everything else. We have made a website, yard signs, brochures, banners, and flyers. About a week ago we had only filled 7 of the 30 spots because we are doing 6 different sessions, but we have had 17 more applicants so it is getting better. I never really understood how much goes into entertaining young kids for 7 hours a day and definitely never realized how much work and effort is needed in making a semi-real business. Hopefully we make a lot of money and it is worth it.

The book and the essay are similar because both of their intentions are to explain to the readers that soldiers and people who fight for their country are not necessarily in agreement with what the physical war is debating, and that armies are an extension of only the government. In the essay he talks about how conformity of the government is creating too much control. He writes. "government is best which governs least," his ideal government would be unachievable for society today, but idealistically he would have the government, govern not at all. Thoureau doesn't limit his argument only to the idea of war and its soldiers, but it is evident that he sees warfare participants as conformists who don't necessarily agree with what they are fighting for. He talks about majority, but points out that majority is still not fair and just because not all actually agree. In Johnny Got His Gun, Joe is struggling with the idea of why he even fought or why any soldiers fight for their country. H is pondering whether war is valuable unless their is something tangible to fight for. It connects because Joe is pointing out that the soldiers are fighting but they are told they are fighting for freedom, but Joe says freedom is undefinable, and how can soldiers fight for something that don't even know what it is and Thoureau is saying that government is based off of conformed people who are actually ignorant to the amount of control and lack of say that each person has, basically in Joe's eyes himself, and other soldiers.