After many days spent studying and learning about Costa Rica, we finally reached the orphanage, a place where I felt like we could make the most difference and connect with the people of Costa Rica on a raw and personal level. The kids didn’t waste time getting to know us, before you had the chance to say your name they are already asking “do you have any money?” “Is that your boyfriend?” “Will you give me a piggyback ride.” I was excited about how friendly and welcoming the young kids were, but also saddened at the conditions they were living in. Hours passed as I played soccer, colored Dora pictures, swung the jump rope, was taught how to dance, and my favorite, watching the children take hundreds of pictures of us together, we began to leave when Aurlina, the small chubby coco colored hair 3 year old little girl who hadn’t left my leg all day looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes and reached for arms as she pleaded we not leave. “ Don’t go yet, please! You can stay here, we can share a room and play all day.” She had the hope in her eyes that in reality we didn’t have to leave, that eventually if she begged enough all of us would stay. The toys, toothbrushes and books we brought to them didn’t matter, at least not to the kids, what they wanted most was individual attention the feeling that someone would consistently be by their side. By the end of the day each child had latched themselves onto a teenager or teacher’s leg and had become their friend for the day. It struck me as Aurlina begged me not to go that truthfully we hadn’t made a difference at all. The day would pass; we would drive off on our huge gas guzzling bus, get on an airplane and fly home, going back to school and leaving all those longing faces hoping for our return. Even though we had visited and helped for a day leaving behind hundreds of dollars worth of helping goods, we didn’t give the children what they wanted or needed most. Guilt started to become my memory rather than the warm feeling of helping others and improving the lives of those innocent precious children.